I remember when I was a little girl, I would sing at my church districts' vocal competitions for children. I started when I was about 7 or 8 and I competed until I was 12. I remember working on my songs in my room, singing into a little karaoke machine to hear myself better. My dad would come into my room and show how to hold myself properly and how to use my stomach to control my voice, instead of my chest. He taught me how to breath properly when singing, and even how to do a little vibrato. I owe everything I know up to this point to my dad. He really pushed me to be the best that I could be.
I never took vocal lessons from a professional, but Craig says that he thinks that was best. My dad was doing a great job by himself, and it was probably a good thing that I didn't take lessons because they could have ruined what my dad had already taught me. I kind of wish that I had more vocal training as a child.
I almost got a career as an actor/singer. I auditioned for an acting school when I was about 13. They really liked me and wanted to see more, but that required my parents to send me to an acting school, which was too expensive for them at the time. It was really hard for me to accept that I couldn't go, but in the end I probably wouldn't have worked on my drawing/painting skills if I had gone to acting school. I probably wouldn't have gotten involved in my high school's theater department the way I did. I would have been on stage instead of back stage working on props and set design.
As I look back on my life there are so many times where I could have chosen to do one thing or another, and I think of how much my life would have changed if I had chosen to do anything else other that what I have done. Would I be at Point Loma, if in college at all? Would I be singing? Would I be an artist? What if I had gone to law school like my mother wanted? What if I had joined the military like I had thought about? What if I had auditioned for American Idol when it first came out? In which direction would my life have turned had I chosen to go to Central Christian College of the Bible and sought a degree in Christian Family Therapy?
God really has everything under control. I believe that he orchestrated all the aspects of my life to bring me to this point, to be who I am today. There is not one event that happened to me that God did not put into place. It just goes to show that Jeremiah 29:11 is true: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
I think that has become my life verse. I remember sitting at my church as a teen and having a friend pray over me. I was really depressed and needed help. This friend prophesied over me and told me this verse. They said that God had everything under control and that I shouldn't worry.
That aspect right there is what I've always found really hard: worry. I can never not worry. I feel that if I'm not worried about a situation or a problem then I'm not doing enough and I'll just forget about it. I have never been able to just get things done without worrying a little bit. It's my biggest area of work in my life. Of course, with that struggle comes the struggle of trust. It's really hard for me to trust that people are going to do what they say they are going to do, and that includes God. In fact, I have to most trouble trusting God. It's stupid, and completely useless to think that I could do things better than He can, or that I could get things done faster than he can. I mean.....he's God! But, I persist and struggle, and go into multiple nervous breakdowns before I actually surrender situations to God....when will I just learn?
Anyway, now that I've just written my autobiography for you, I guess it's safe to say that I have nothing else to say today. I probably will later, but whatever. I love you guys!
ONLY TWELVE DAYS LEFT!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!
Peace out...Cara
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