Crap, babies, and more crap.

Don't worry... Mitch and I aren't fighting.

There's just a lot of stuff going on with child support and custody battles, and the crap that comes with those situations. I can't go into all of the details because it's a very private matter, but I can tell you that this whole situation is driving me crazy. I know Mitch is doing everything he can to get it resolved, but it's still painful.

I posted yesterday that I wasn't feeling very well that morning.. of course one of my friends posted a comment saying that it better not be morning sickness. Don't fret, my little dumplings! I'm not preggo, well at least not yet. Mitch and I want to have kids in the future, but at this point in our lives, especially with all this child support nonsense going on, we aren't ready. I'm not ready more specifically. I don't think I could handle having a baby right now. With all of the stress of school, finances, being newly married, doing the opera, work, keeping house, homework, and all that jazz.... I would have a mental breakdown if I added a baby!

I asked my mom if postpartum depression syndrome runs in our family. My friend brought her baby to my wedding and as much as I love her, and as much as I love that little baby girl, I almost couldn't handle all of the crying! I didn't say anything because it wasn't my place. I think I was mostly over stressed because of the wedding, but honestly I don't know. I'm scared of hurting a child because I can't handle taking care of it. I'm scared of not knowing what to do, who to talk to, or if I can even keep that child alive! I just don't think I'm ready right now.

I know that my dad is excited that I am married now. I am his fourth child out of seven, but only his second to get married. My 3 older siblings haven't had any children yet, despite 2 of them being much older than me. There were complications, careers, and other things that have kept that from happening. That's all good and well, but if everything goes the way I think it is going to go, I will be the first in my immediate family to have children. Who knows though, maybe my older siblings will have kids in the next two years. I know my dad wants grand kids, but not enough for me to risk my education. He has told me time, and time again to finish my college degree before I have kids. He loves the ideas of grand babies on his knees, but my education comes first, especially since Mitch doesn't have a college education.

We talked with a heath care broker yesterday about our options as a couple. He was really nice and he laid down all of the different options that we had. He went over Mitch's group insurance policy that he's getting from Chili's, and he showed us a policy that would cover everything else that Mitch's insurance wouldn't. It was really refreshing to talk to someone in person who knew the ropes and guided us in what we needed to do. He even gave us suggestions on law groups we could go to for the child support stuff. He was very personable and we really enjoyed having him.

I'm sorry, this is really turning into a meaty blog. I'm going to let you go now.

Until next time...