A little over a month

OMG!!! 44 DAYS!!!

Things are really coming together now, but of course with the stress comes doubt. "Are we doing the right thing?", "Is this happening too fast?", "Does he really love me?", "Do I really want this?", etc. You start to second guess yourself and wonder whether or not things are going right, or if it's really happening at all. Is that what they call cold-feet? I'm not sure. I mean, with just over a month left to go it wouldn't make any sense not to be scared or worried. What am I supposed to do? I feel I've talked about the wedding so much that I should be more exciting then I am, but now I'm just worried. I also am trying really hard not to be Bridezilla. I think there is almost nothing worse a bride could do then to go all crazy on people!

On a lighter note, I bought my veil today. I shopped for the cheapest deal and found a small birdcage veil online for $15! I had to pay $10 in shipping because it's coming from Canada, but hey... it's better than $175 for a piece of fabric you wear for one day. I'm not sure when it will be here, but here's the picture from the website I bought it from.

I also found some really cute baggies for favors! They're adorable. I haven't purchased them yet, but I know where to get them. I was also looking at decorations and other small details for the ceremony and reception. Oriental Trading Co has the best deals on small decorations. Then I looked for ribbon to decorate our cake with and I found a paper ribbon online that is pretty cheap. It's perfect for the cake! I can't wait to see it!
We are also looking for plastic tumblers and plates/baskets. We were thinking that since the wedding is at a campground then it would be cute to make the buffet table a build-your-own-picnic table. We would buy a whole bunch of small baskets and everyone could make their own lunch from our buffet. It's going to be so much fun!
I'm trying to decide weather or not I want to have wine [uh, I mean soda] at the wedding. Most of the guests so far are going to be over 21, and since there aren't going to be many people there it wouldn't be terribly expensive to buy a few bottles. We'll see what we come up with, but it could be a lot of fun to have a little bit of "soda" [wink, wink] at the reception.

Now all we have to get are:
Ceremony Decorations
Unity Ceremony Sand and Containters
Reception Decorations
Food for the reception
Cake supplies
Gifts for my attendants
A gift for the officiant
A gift for Mitch
cooking materials for the favors I'm making
buy the programs [although I'm not sure we need them with so few attending]
....I can't think of anything else

And as I'm wrote all of that a small rainbow appeared in the sky right outside my office window. That gives me a sign of peace and comfort that I'm doing the right think and that everything is going to be all right. I can't believe how good God has been to me through all of this! He's so wonderful!

 Until next time!
Slán go maith (good bye in Irish)

Stranded

So, I realized I haven't posted anything in a while. Here's the update: As I wrote in an earlier post, Mitch had to quit his job so that he could move down here and search for a new job. He had to do this because he current boss refused to give him the time off so he could look for a new job. So now he has no job, no place to stay, and almost no money. I am going to be living on campus for the summer while I work full time, but as of right now we are looking at possible hotels for Mitch to stay at because no one has stepped up to volunteer a couch for him while we save money for an apartment. It's really frustrating, but it's the only thing we can do right now.

If I could I would let Mitch stay in my room, but that's just not possible... for multiple reasons. I hope we can find a cheap motel for him to get a room at. Wherever he stays is going to be expensive because this is San Diego, but there's got to be something out there that's reasonable.

I hope we can find a descent apartments soon too. With Mitch job searching it's going to be a uncertain time for us. But at least we have a month or so to look and save money. I'll also be making twice as much as I do now, so that will help. If anyone knows of a good, cheap place to rent that's not to far from Point Loma, let me know!

Today I was wished a happy mother's day. It was kind of weird to hear that, seeing as how I don't have any children of my own, but Mitch insists that I consider his son my own. I have never met the kid, and he doesn't even know I exist. I told Mitch that I don't want to be wished a happy mother's day until I'm actually Stephen's adopted mom. It just seems wrong to say that to me when I've never even met the kid. It's not like I'm saying I don't want to be his mom, that's not it at all. I want to be there for him and to be the mom that he needs, but I'm not at that point yet, and neither is he. For one thing he's all the way out in Missouri, and I'm here in California. And he's still in the custody of his mother. Mitch and I plan on fighting for custody as soon as we can, but until then I can just wait to be called "mom".

I did celebrate Mother's Day at my church, though. I bough a dozen sunset roses and passed them out to the elderly ladies at my church. It was my way of saying "happy mother's day" to my mom. She doesn't really like gifts, but loves it when I love on other people. She said that was the perfect gift! I was very proud of myself of figuring out a way to honor my mom and the ladies at my church as well. I do wish I could have been there with my mom though. That would have been nice.

Anyway, this week is finals week. I only have one written final, but I have to finish up two projects, which are a pain in my butt. I'm waiting on materials for my book that I'm making in my graphic design class. I hope they get here in time. I'm also working on a photo journalism photo story. I just have to put in the captions for the pictures I took and then that's done. The one written final I have is in design history. That's going to be the hardest thing this week, seeing as how I hardly paid attention in that class at all. The teacher was just SO boring!! I have the notes she posted online, and the books, and the study guide, so I should be fine... I just have to focus and actually study this time. LOL.

Well, that's all for now. TTYL!

Unsure

So, I'm kind of worried at this point. Mitch just put in his 2 week notice at work so that he can come down here and look for work. I will be moving into the summer dorm until we find a place to live. We don't have much money right now and I'm not sure how things are going to work out. We applied for the university's off campus apartments, but that doesn't mean we will get into them right away. The lady in charge of them said that there wasn't much of a chance that they would have a spot for us any time soon. I hate not being sure of where we are going to live. It makes me so uneasy about the whole situation.
Right now I'm trying to fight off a cold. My throat is scratchy and soar, and I have a runny nose. I feel like crap. I took some decongestant this morning, but I don't think it did anything. The only thing I felt was my heart rate go up. I'm not sure how that helped my cold.
I posted up a video on facebook and youtube, so go check it out.

Oh, and if any of you readers live in San Diego and have a couch Mitch can sleep on, let me know. Thanks!

Bridal Shower Time!

I don't have much to say today, so I thought I would let the pictures do the talking. Here are some of my favorite images from Saturday.

To Do List

I feel like God is telling me that I am on the right track. He has just been taking care of me so much! It seems that when ever I need help, he is there for me. There are days when I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to eat, because I've run out of  meals at the cafeteria or I'm out of money; then someone brings in pumpkin bread, or buys me lunch, and I'm not hungry or worried anymore. There are days when I'm not sure how I'm going to pay my bills; then Mitch gets more money than he was expecting, or I get a notice in the mail that I can skip one month on my car loan. It's been wonderful! He's put people in my life who are always there to take care of me. For the wedding people have really stepped up to help. One of my friends paid for my wedding dress. A couple of my mom's friends want to help out with photography, the cake, and catering... all for free. We found a beautiful location for the ceremony and reception, all for under $200, and I've been finding multiple ways to save money by making things myself or buying things cheaper online. I think we've only spent $400 on the wedding so far. What a blessing!
There really isn't much left to do at this point. All we need are to pick up the chairs and tables from my church and other churches in town, buy the food from Costco, buy the flowers from Costco, purchase the decorations from a local party surplus store, purchase the arch for the altar, purchase the items for the vows, make the cake, decorate the site,  make the bouquets, reserve the hotel for our short honeymoon, put a down payment on an apartment in San Diego, get my hair done, loose 50 pounds (just kidding)....
Well, I hope I can get that all done in 2 months... I'm sure I will. Maybe not the loosing 50 pounds, which would be ideal, but not really practical at this point.
There are other things that I need to be doing in this short time as well. I'm starting to work on my music for the upcoming production of the opera Cendrillon, Jules Massanet's version of Cinderella. I have the role of La Fee, or the Fairy Godmother. It's a wonderful opera and I'm getting more excited for it by the minute. Oh course I need to learn how to pronounce French and well as becoming a coloratura soprano. On top of that I am going to be working full time this summer as office assistant for the web design team on campus. I don't know what that's going to be like or how much mental work that is going to take up, but here's hoping it's pretty easy. By far it will be the easiest summer job I've had yet. So far I've always had to be on my feet because I worked with food services in the past, but this job with the web team is a desk job.. thank God.
I will also, hopefully, be getting a graphic design internship over the summer. I have an interview set up for this coming Tuesday with a local business who needs a graphic designer to make their pamphlets and brochures for their company. I hope I can fit the bill! The man I've been talking to seems to really like my stuff. Hopefully this will turn into a career or at least put my foot in the door.
I was really excited last semester because I had had contact with a web design firm who asked me to do some logo design work for their clients. I thought that this was an actual job, but they haven't emailed or called me in three months! 3 MONTHS! I've emailed them several times about it. I did a few logos for them, which they never commented on. If they use those logos without paying me for them I hope I can sue. I mean, we never had any legal document written up, which is my fault, but still. There are emails talking about asking me to come in, and I talked with the directer in person. He gave me the assignments and I did them. I sent them in for approval and I didn't hear back at all for weeks. It was only after I inquired about how he liked the logo that he emailed me back, and all he said was that he would take a look at it and tell me how the client liked it after their meeting. I didn't hear from him for weeks so I emailed him again. After another couple of weeks and a few more emails later he finally got back to me saying he had been busy traveling around and hadn't been able to take a look at the logos I had sent him for his own company or tell me what had happened with the meeting with his client. WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!?! I mean, you can't take a few minutes and check your messages and email me back? FOR 3 MONTHS?
I just dropped the company. It was no use to waste my time waiting for them to email me when I could go out and talk with other companies who are willing to PAY for my work. Anyway, that's all I have for now. Until next time!

We're in the 60's!!!

There are 68 days until the wedding and things are starting to become clearer as well as more nerve racking! I'm worried about money, people actually showing up, where Mitch and I are going to live next year... etc. I wish that I wasn't so worried but I guess this comes with the territory of being a bride. I want so bad to be certain about what is going to happen next, but I know that the future is unknown, no matter how close it is.

Recently I've been stressed about my bridal shower. My maid of honor (MOH) is working on it very hard, and I trust her judgements. It's just that there's this lady at my church who has decided that my best friend doesn't know what she's talking about, and that she (the old lady), who has planned so many other apparently wonderful and successful bridal showers, should take over. She by-passed my MOH/best friend, and took her own initiative by buying plates, utensils, and cups, and by delegating jobs to other women in the church. She is not respecting my wishes as the bride, the girl this party is all about, and she is being pushing and demanding. Also, the church invited all of the women of my church, which I don't really have a problem with, but no one ever asked me! I thought this was going to be a party for my close friends! Not a whole bunch of elderly women that I don't really know that well.

I don't want to be rude or sound ungrateful for all the work that these ladies are doing, but seriously, this is not what I wanted at all, and it's making it much more difficult than it needs to be. And most of all it really undermines my MOH, who has been working and planning this day for months now! She has everything planned and worked out. She got and send out the invitations weeks ago, and has planned games, and all sorts of goodies. She has food to prepare, decorations to put up, and other great ideas! I don't know all the details, mostly because I asked her not to tell me, but I know that whatever she has planned will be wonderful! It hurts me to think that an elderly woman would want to see all that hard work go down the drain just because she wants control.

I talked with my mom about it, and told her the things that the elderly woman wanted to do for my shower. She wanted to only serve nuts, mints and punch, where as my MOH has other things planned to serve. My mom so elegantly stated that the mints, nuts and punch would work for a bridal shower in the 1950's, but not these days. Now that's like saying you don't really want to put the party on, and that you just bought the bare minimum! My MOH said that "this is my Cara Bell's one and only bridal shower! I want it to be the best!"... and that is exactly why I chose her to be my MOH... Whitney, I love you!

Anyway, enough of the Bridezilla rant. I'll post more when I have some happy news...

85 Days and Counting

As it gets down to the wire I've begun to really get in the mode of wedding planning. It's getting harder to concentrate on my school work, and other things that I need to do because all I want to do is look at wedding cakes, flowers, and decorations. The other day someone asked me if I was getting cold feet (and then awkwardly touched my very cold foot with their strangely warm hands... uh). But seriously, I'm not. I think more than anything I'm getting more excited!

I can't wait to be Mrs. O'Doniel for real. Mitchall makes me so happy! It's been so hard not having him around while I'm at school. I wish he could be here, but then I know that I would get nothing done. We're looking for jobs for him down here in San Diego so he has something to do when we move. I hope he can get the job ASAP cause then we can move into an apartment and get all settled.

I wish I were graduating next year, but that's just not going to happen. I have too many classes I need to take care of before I can do that. I should have taken my lit and science classes last year and this year, but I didn't. Luckily I have the next 2 years to make those up. So, it looks like I'll be graduating in 2012... hopefully the world doesn't end. LOL.

Well, that's all for now. oh.. and Michelle asked if i was blogging about her and i said no... so this is for her. love ya Michelle!